It has come to my attention that during my excitement to finally get going with this blog, I neglected to make some important introductions. Introductions can often be a dry and stale affair of facts and expectations presented like a resume to potential readers, and if there’s one thing people read my blog for, it’s certainly not for facts. So let us not stumble down the pitfalls of mentioning such things as being the fourth born of five, which tells you less about myself than it does my parents sex life, which I’ve come to conclude was extremely healthy.
If you’ve read any of my previous posts you’ll realise I mention my wife quite a lot. Yes, I’m actually married. This guy. Sometimes I can’t even believe it myself. During my workday mornings I stumble around in the dark for fear of waking her, blindly fumbling with my bag of Cheerios like a virgin trying to unclasp his first bra. It’s in these moments I realise what could have been, had my wife ever come to her senses.
As we all write about the things we know or love, my wife tends to get a mention in everything I post. With spending so much time with her, she seems to be involved in everything I do with my life, even this blog, in which she acts as my moderator. Most of my humour involves pushing various boundaries and making inappropriate comments, so allowing her to read all my first drafts is a much needed safety net. Without her, this blog could have been knee deep in F-Bombs and
tasteful holocaust jokes.
I’ve always loved to write, that’s what it essentially comes down to. Until only recently I would write almost on a daily basis, just random nonsense that nobody but me would ever read. Occasionally I would write something that I was particularly proud of, at which point I would nag my wife over and over until she’d reluctantly pause her game of Candy Crush to tend to her man child’s cries for attention. Quite often this literature would be the opening chapter or prologue to an epic series of tales I had mapped out in my head. It is in my head that they sadly remain to this day.
I’m not really sure about the origin of the whole blogging idea, but I can’t be thankful enough that I went ahead and pursued it. I suddenly feel a new lease of life pumping through my veins as I wake every morning. Writing my ideas whenever and wherever the feeling takes me, I just feel inspired to do something that I love. My wife prefers the term “unbearable” to “inspired” but I told it to her straight, she’s married to an artist now and she needs to accept the artist within “Why she be getting all up in my grill?” Giving me a stern look, I realise I may have been caught up in the moment.
It’s the support of my wife in pushing me to make my writing public that I’m particularly grateful for. Being supportive happens to be something I pride myself on as a husband too. My wife is a huge fan of Demi Lovato and her music, which often fills our apartment on a daily basis, each track giving me a helpful hint as to how she feels towards me at that particular moment in time. It’s my understanding that if you’re a fan of an artist then you have to support their career if you want to enjoy more of them. Showing support for my wife’s interests, I decided I should do my part by purchasing Demi Lovato’s very tasteful 2016 wall calendar for myself. Marriage is all about these little sacrifices we make for one another.
Speaking of support, I should offer credit where credit is due, and thank all those who have been returning to this blog. Looking at the statistics of my blog has almost become a drug to me. Each morning I load my WordPress app for my early high. Forget Coffee, Stats are my caffeine. Never had I imagined for a second that anybody would be remotely interested, however, on an uncomfortably sentimental note, thank you to all those who have boosted my
ego confidence. I hope to keep writing for as long as people enjoy reading, or until I say something too wholly inappropriate that my wife can take no more. Like the relationship between Jurassic World’s Owen Grady and his Velociraptors, we have a relationship based on love and mutual respect, and the fear that one day she may kill me.
So it is from here that I welcome you to my blog. For those who return, expect to read more about my relationship with my loving wife and the lessons learned from being a father to our daughter, Ava. And for those who have less personal interests, my own take on whatever strikes my interest. It’ll be interesting as we go, to develop a structure to this blog, with various themes having their regular coverage throughout. Who knows what the future has in store, as for now, I will savour this blissful honeymoon period, whilst I contemplate releasing my own 2017 wall calendar, racy, yet tasteful. Is it too soon to say I love you?…